I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
