there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
how does that bad decision feel?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
