Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
