it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
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Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
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Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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