I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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