Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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