You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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