I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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