GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize