Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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