I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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