You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
