Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
