I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
