I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
