SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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