I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
