There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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