You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
