I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
