Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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