grandma shit on top of the toilet
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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