I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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