So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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