I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
