I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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