Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
