I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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