The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you will always have a special place in my vag
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
