he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
