11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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