Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
