i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize