This girl is more easily done than said...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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