The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
