Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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