You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
pop tarts are not kleenex
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
