Already got asked if we're dating
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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