the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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