im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
