The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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