lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My feet surprised me
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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