2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
