And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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