The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
