I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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