The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
