Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
