Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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