my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
