He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He felt like a one man threesome
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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