listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
