I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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