so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She bit a glass in half.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
