Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
