If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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