ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
