guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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