I wish they made helmets for livers.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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