So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
