You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
