when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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