would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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