You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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