U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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