well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
