there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it's like iHOP with fire
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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