Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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