im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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