Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
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I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
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Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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